


My Boyfriend's Back

by nochick_fics



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Short One Shot, Silly, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 04:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10586829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nochick_fics/pseuds/nochick_fics
Summary: Ed talks to Roy about Maes' "miraculous resurrection."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written back in 2008 after watching Resident Evil: Extinction. Sorry. :-)

Ed tentatively drummed his fingers against his thighs. “Uh… Roy?” 

“Yeah?”

“I think we need to talk.”

“Okay.  What about?”  Roy finished pouring a cup of coffee for the teen and slid it across the table.  “Cream and sugar?”

“No, thanks,” Ed said, picking up the cup to occupy his hands. 

“So what is it, Edward?  Everything okay?”

Ed’s mouth opened in disbelief.  “Um, _no_.  Everything is _not_ okay.”

Roy set down the coffee pot and looked at his guest with concern.  “What’s going on?”

A low, steady moan came from the corner of the room.  Ed’s eyes widened but Roy acted as if he heard nothing out of the ordinary.

“It’s about… well…” The teen paused and tried again.  “It’s about Hughes.”

Roy frowned.  “Please don’t talk about him like he’s not in the room.”

“That’s exactly my point, Roy.  He shouldn’t even _be_ in the room.”

“But we’re having coffee.”

Exasperated, Ed shook his head.  “No!  I mean he shouldn’t even be _here!_ ”

Roy was genuinely confused.  “What?  Where else would he be?”

Ed slammed down his cup and leaned forward. “I mean _alive_ , Roy!  _Alive!”_  

Roy’s eyes narrowed into slits as he glared at Ed.  “I don’t really think it’s right for you to slander Maes’ miraculous resurrection.”

“He’s a _goddamn zombie!!!_ ”

“We don’t know that for certain.”

“He tried to _bite me_ when I came in the house!”

“Or maybe he was just saying hello,” Roy countered. “You know how playful he can be.”

Another moan.  Ed glanced in the corner of the room and was barely able to suppress a shiver. 

“Whatever,” he said, standing up.  He’d already had enough of this freak show.  “Just make sure you keep him on a leash.”

“I’ll thank you not to worry about our kinks,” Roy said solemnly.

Ed stormed over to the door, giving a wide berth to the living dead man that sat calmly in a chair, holding a picture of a little girl.  He held it up in jittery, post-rigor mortis hands and smiled.  At least, Ed assumed he was smiling, although it looked more like a silent scream.

“See?” Roy said proudly.  “Same old Maes, showing off Elysia.”

“Yeeeeah,” Ed said, quickly walking out of the door.

Roy sighed.  Some people just refused to believe in miracles even when they were right in their faces.

He began to gather the cups from the table but stopped and rubbed his chest; he’d been feeling a bit off all day.  Tired.  And a tad sick to his stomach.

Surely it had nothing to do with the little love bite Maes had given him.  On his arm.  Which had yet to heal.

He was probably just coming down with the flu or something… which was strange, since it wasn’t exactly flu season. 

“Zombies,” Roy said with a grin.  That Ed and his--

_brains_

\--imagination.

“Fullmetal's something else, isn’t he?" Roy said to Maes. “But I don’t think he’s too happy with us right now.  Hey, maybe we can have him for dinner tomorrow night, what do you think?”

Maes moaned his approval.

Roy nodded.  It really was a good idea.  So much so that his mouth began to water.

Then it was decided.  He would call Ed and invite him over.

Because nothing soothed sore nerves faster than dining on… or rather, _with_ friends.


End file.
